Author Archives: zanerak

A Very Bad Introduction to Shipping Culture on Tumblr

(Update, 16 Oct. 2018: Literally the week after I wrote this, Symbrock (Venom) flew in and directly dethroned Klance from the #1 spot on the Fandometrics Top 20 Ships list for the week ending on the 15th of October. Needless to say this has completely destroyed the theories I formulated below. I am in shock, to be honest, but here is my original analysis nevertheless; I just needed to share the fact that this development hit me like a freight train and I have not recovered.)

(Disclaimer: I am not a shipper. I am viewing this as an outsider, which will skew my perspective. Nevertheless, I tried to take advantage of this and have an objective stance on each discussed fandom/ship. A.K.A., I share my observations and try to avoid making commentary on it. Apologies if I fail. Also, I am using Terms That Will Be Capitalized That Are Not Actually Used In The Language Of Fandom; this is mostly for my benefit.)

Shipping is a huge part of fandom culture. In regards to a fandom’s popularity in relation to their ships, the most popular fandoms on Tumblr often fit relatively into three categories:

    1. Fandoms driven into popularity by a singular ship
    2. Fandoms driven into popularity by multiple ships
    3. Fandoms whose ships are driven by their popularity

Most commonly, there is one “primary ship” that encompasses a large portion of a fandom, followed by a “secondary ship”, although nearly all fandoms can fit into this dynamic if we really wanted.

We’re not gonna really do that though. Let’s instead look at individual fandoms, starting with fandoms at their peak during the early 2010’s gay shipping craze. The fandoms of Merlin, Shadowhunters, and Teen Wolf, from what I’ve seen, consist nearly entirely of Merthur, Malec, and Sterek, and these Singular Power Ships are what drive the fandoms to the top. (Hannibal, actually, can also be worth mentioning seeing how much the Hannigram ship has helped the fandom move forward, but Hannibal is a much broader fandom in terms of content and is a small enough fandom that I would not consider Hannigram a prominent enough ship to be considered a Singular Power Ship.)

In later years, Bellarke, from The 100, is another example of a ship gaining the power of a Singular Power Ship, but this is mainly because the show killed off Clarke’s lesbian lover, because, Bury Your Gays, so of course the Clexa ship had to sink, leaving Bellarke to rise to the top. Victuuri, from Yuri on Ice, was also widely discussed, especially after the ship was explicitly shown to be canon on the show.

All these shows had secondary ships, but there was generally a single ship that most of the fandom talked about.

Of course, the Three Fandom Princes of Tumblr would have to be brought up at this point as well: Supernatural, with the Singular Power Ship of Destiel (helped perhaps by secondary ships such as Sabriel, which I believe to have replaced Wincest over the years for hopefully obvious reasons); Sherlock, with the Singular Power Ship of Johnlock; and Dr. Who, which is simply a powerful fandom on its own without a distinguished ship to associate with the fandom.

Dr. Who, however, is an exception in being a popular fandom without a powerful ship. Harry Potter and Star Wars are also examples of the exception. (Reylo can count as a Singular Power Ship, but this relationship does not drive the fandom, although it helps a lot.)

Usually, when a fandom rises to a place on Fandometric’s Top 20 lists, this will also push the ships within the fandom to the top. BTS, for example, is one of Tumblr’s most powerful fandoms, yet does not have a particular Singular Power Ship. The ships are powerful for sure, but this appears to mainly be due to the sheer size of the BTS fandom. There are no ships that make up more than 40% of the fandom’s content, not even a Common Arrangement of multiple ships. (Common Shipping Arrangements can take form as something as large as EXO’s six most popular pairings, or as simple as shipping Voltron’s Klance along with Adashi because they complement each other, as opposed to Klance and Sheith, which is bound to clash.)

This is interesting given Tumblr’s history with bandom shipping, particularly with the Three Bandom Princes of Tumblr (MCR, Panic! at the Disco, and Fall Out Boy – all of which I’m pretty sure are still going strong despite the gradual overtaking by The Kpop Community).

BTS falls in contrast to Voltron: Legendary Defender, whose popularity is in large part due to their ships instead of vice versa. Of course, with their wide array of characters, they have quite their share of well-liked secondary ships, be it Shallura, Plance, Heith, Lotura, or honestly literally any pairing of characters ever except Klance and Sheith, which are the primary ships. Both Klance and Sheith have the prominence of Singular Power Ships; in fact, they are two of the top pairings on Tumblr, which may be in part due to the in-fandom fighting between the ships: the more fans argue about the two ships, the more discussed they are, the more they climb up Fandometric’s Top 20 list.

Fighting between ships is normal, but is extremely widespread in the Voltron community due to the nature of the Sheith ship. Shiro is a grown man, in contrast to Keith who is 18, and the two have known each other since Keith was a very young teen. This dynamic is interpreted as inappropriate by many fans, but Sheith shippers believe that since Shiro and Keith are both technically adults, there should be no problem. Thus, many Klance shippers disapprove of Sheith shippers for supporting what they view as a relationship that is pedophilic in nature, and Sheith shippers believe no one should hate on anyone for shipping who they want to ship. Further driving this discourse is the fact that the showrunners have implicated intent to include LGBTQ+ representation in the show, causing fans to relentlessly dig through seasons in an attempt to dig up any evidence they can suggesting that their ship will become canon. Needless to say, it is no surprise the shipping among the Voltron fandom is such a widely discussed topic.

The Marvel fandom is quite similar to that of Voltron, except with more emphasis on individual actors and familial head canons between characters. Marvel and Voltron are both worlds with a large number of (mainly male) characters, allowing lots of shipping and attracting many fans. Stucky and Stony are ships comparable to Klance and Sheith; although, in the case of Marvel, the brotherly dynamic (Stucky) overpowers the rivalry dynamic (Stony), while in the Voltron fandom, Klance is more popular than Sheith.

Another difference is that Marvel fans are generally aware of the impossibility of their ship becoming canon, and, as a live-action franchise, much of the Marvel fandom on Tumblr does center around the actors. There is also a lot more discussion of the familial relationships between the characters with the father-son dynamic between Tony Stark and Peter Parker, sibling relationships between T’challa and Shuri as well as Thor and Loki, and the general family-like relationship between the Avengers and Fury.

The wlw shipping community is significantly smaller and less dramatic but still quite loud concerning canon lesbian couples. Steven Universe (Pearlrose), Adventure Time (Bubbline), Supergirl (Sanvers), Wynonna Earp (Wayhaught), and Avatar: the Last Airbender (Korrasami) are all shows with canon wlw couples that everyone likes, although strangely, the most popular ship from Supergirl is not Sanvers, but rather Supercorp. There isn’t much to say about wlw shipping because it’s generally very non-problematic. The negativity in the wlw community is generally not pointed toward each other, but rather the showrunners/cast for their mistakes (Supergirl @Comic Con 2017 anyone?). As mentioned previously, Clexa was another wlw ship that is no longer running, and the show creators were highly criticized for what they chose to do with the relationship. For most of these fandoms, the popularity is driven by the ships.

Other popular fandoms:

  • Boku no Hero Academia: BNHA is a strong both as a fandom and in shipping, but I’m not familiar enough with this show to make a comment on it; however, my observations suggest the behavior of this fandom is most similar to Marvel and maybe Voltron.
  • Phandom: I’m pretty sure the Phandom is basically entirely Phan content whether the shipping is platonic or not because the dynamic between Dan and Phil is basically the reason for most of their fans.
  • Overwatch: I don’t know what goes on in this fandom except for copious amounts of love for the diversity of this game, but I have seen shipping among the playable characters, though not anything particularly noteworthy.
  • The Royal Animation Children: The Royal Animation Sisters – Adventure Time, Steven Universe, Avatar – now have three younger siblings: Voltron, The Dragon Prince, and Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir. I have already discussed Voltron in great detail; The Dragon Prince doesn’t provide much to discuss, as it hasn’t given much material to work with. Miraculous Ladybug has a pretty basic shipping base considering everyone ships the same thing with a couple side ships; however, the relationship between the two main characters is so nuanced because of the multiple identities that this potentially powerful primary ship has never gotten very far ahead.
  • The Good Place: This jumped on the Top 20 list very high very fast, and I have no idea what the shipping culture is. But from what I’ve seen, people just generally ship anything and it basically works, and from the seasons I’ve watched that checks out so basically I’m pretty sure this is one of those free-for-all shipping fandoms.

In general, it appears that shipping is most powerful with canon wlw couples and with franchises with large, heavily male-dominated casts. For ultimate power, promise LGBTQ+ content and deliver as little as possible. For non-platonic shipping, large casts with family dynamics is where it succeeds. Most of this is quite intuitive.

All that being said, I should probably emphasize that I have a limited experience in terms of fandom, so I have probably excluded many fandoms, including Andi Mack, the Land of Youtubers, and whatever miscellaneous stuff I overlooked. Also, I DO have an opinion about a lot of these, but like I said, I am trying to be neutral. Also, I am very likely misinformed about many of these fandoms. But, from the perspective of the person who wrote this, this analysis is as accurate as can be.

it’s raining cats and dogs: ch. v

BALLBALLBALLOHBOYBALLBALLBALwaitaminute. you didn’t throw the ball. haha. very funny got me there. almost fooled me. well just so you know, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. i see the ball in your hand, see, once you throw it it’ll still be there. i’m not falling for this agBALLBALLBALLOHBOYBALLBA-

Kiss from a Rose: Seal

her kiss is a toxic hurricane

that lifts me into the clouds

and knocks the wind out of me and me into the wind.

i slide down the rainbow tasting

her bubble bubble bubblegum pop pop popping

a circus of clowns on wheels

frantically circling around

a pile of out-of-tune violins. jungle birds

dance in a feathered kaleidoscope

orange triangles and green corners stretch into

flying circles and

sideways eights.

 

her tongue snakes around mine

a rose pressing its sweet scent into my mouth

along with its thorns that pierce

my skin, blood-red blood raining dripping oozing

down the lively round lollipops from that

candy shop down the street run by witches and hyenas that

cackle when they find me sinking

in quicksand, yelling and grabbing

for the chandelier that sings children’s lullabies

and teases me by swinging

inches away from

my desperate

fingertips.

 

liquid poison injected into my lips

bruises me blue and black

a motorcycle’s headlights

fling me into a koi pond

where the fish glare upside down at me and

the water boils around misplaced kelp and

violet frogs bloat into balloons

and croak in my ear. dragonflies

whiz around jesters whose hats

ring the city bells in the morning and at night

scare us to sleep with hollow chiming of

the gong.

 

my teeth clinging to her lower lip

begging for more more more of that

addictingbittersweethallucinationinducingcyan-cyanide

but she flicks me over the edge

with one painted nail longer than the rainbow i rode

that ends with drenched cement where the hurricane

pulls away and whirlwinds into the horizon

with a cheshire smile, and i

sit on that confused gritty stone

beaten to the brink

by citrus red lipstick

and a single piece of

gum.

Language and Reality in Post-Classical Science and Postmodern Literature: Short Paper

Language is crucial to our understanding of the world around us. Russian speakers who have words that differentiate between lighter and darker blues are able to distinguish between shades of blue faster than English speakers; East Asian languages that use honorifics create a culture that emphasizes respect and age difference. The Native Americans whose languages are based on verbs and contain no nouns could not conceive receiving an offer to buy their land, while for the Europeans, noun-based linguistics normalized this concept. Language affects the very way we think and view the world, and Indo-European linguistics have contributed greatly to our current comprehension of classical science and literature.

The classical view of language leads us to hold a particular perspective in life in many ways, even simply by involving the separation and hierarchization of a “signifier” and “signified”. In order to understand ideas of post-classical science and post-modern literature and philosophy, we must deconstruct the language we use and release ourselves from the way it forces us to understand the world.

The “signified” referred to above indicates the actual concept that the “signifier” is attempting to “represent”; thus, modern language is based on the idea of representation of concepts. Everything is concrete – “present” – and able to be “held” or “grasped”, hence the heavy reliance of nouns in the English language. The representation of the “signified” requires something, normally an object, to be represented. Our fixation on “objects” reflects onto the way our mind thinks, as we are forced to separate and differentiate the world around us into perceived concepts. This “logic of representation” is what Derrida calls a “metaphysics of presence” because of the hierarchy and differentiation created by language. Much of Eurocentric thought is based on fundamentals that can be built on: pure truths (a “transcendental signified” that transcends all signifiers) that reveal more complex ideas, basic building blocks of life (elementary particles) that combine to build everything else in the universe.

In this way, the atomic view in science is similar to the classical view of language. Much of the classical perspective in science is based on a hierarchy. Basic elements, such as atoms and molecules, come together in different ways to form different – again – “objects”. Essentially, the classical perspective on the world attempts to understand a screenshot of the world – What is present at this point in time? What comprises of this world in the present? Just as the modern English language follows a “logic of representation”, classical science also implements a line of logical thinking that separates and categorizes our physical world using an “either-or” mindset in order to understand our world.

In contrast, the post-classical perspective regards time as something in a state of “flux”. Thus, the world is comprised not of “things”, but of “events”. Everything in the world is changing constantly; nothing in two different points of time are the same, not even what seems to be permanent. Even mountains are slowly eroding, no matter how slow it takes.

In this manner enters the idea of “undecidability”. Because of the ever-changing state of the world around us, “pure” concepts no longer exist and opposites intangle. Nothing is “ranked” higher than another. Good and evil are no longer opposite sides of a spectrum nor one considered superior to another, and everything around us is both present and absent. There is essentially a coexistence of opposites, as one cannot exist without the other; they are two sides of the same coin, running along opposite and both ends of a Mobius strip. Rather than classify the surrounding world through “either-or” mentality (which cuts through the balance of a chiasmic unity), Derrida’s notion of undecidability rejects the binary opposites and instead views the world through the perspective of the word “and”, the idea that we can be both sides of a dichotomy. This idea of “chiasmic unity” relates to that of “metaphor” in literature. Metaphoricity allows to understand ideas through the “and” lens, simply introducing relation rather than definition and distinction.

Post-classical scientists challenge the classical atomic structure of the universe with their own “and” glasses in the form of quantum theory. Niels Bohr discusses the results of experiments that reveal light to be both a wave as well as a particle. This concept of complementarity completely undermines the classical way of scientific thinking, as it is revealed that it is entirely possible to have the qualities of two mutually exclusive opposites. Werner Heisenburg later introduces the idea of “uncertainty”, which claims that it is impossible for a particle’s position and momentum to be precisely measured, due to the flux of time.

Because so much of our worldview is shaped by modern language, we must challenge the very fundamentals of language – including the classification of concepts separated by employment of “either-or” methods of thought – in order to understand the “complementarity” of opposites central to post-classical science and post-modern literature.

it’s raining cats and dogs: ch. iv

god look at that cat isn’t she cute? you’re goddamn right she is. look at the way she perks her ears up at nothing and just – where is she running off too? what was that sound? i dunno it sounded like a bead hitting the ground – hey holdon now whatare you eati – stop chewing, STOPCHEWINGheyhey heyhelp meoutheremanhelp memanwhatthehellissheeating,godEWwhatisthat,holyshitisthatabeetle?!,iss hetryingtoeatabeetlewhatthefuckgetthatthingouttahermouththatisdisgust ing!,holymotherfuckingsh

Video Game Review: Butterfly Soup

Today’s entertainment review is going to be on the visual novel “Butterfly Soup”!

Short:

High-class memery and relatable gay asian girls playing baseball? It’s already A+++.

Not-as-short:

This is literally my favorite thing in the world at a time when queer Asians just don’t exist in media. Let’s all bow down to our Lord Brianna Lei for creating this masterpiece.

First of all, the humor is such high quality! I mean, I don’t know about other people, but I found it freaking hilarious. Second of all, I am particularly attached to this game because it hits so close to everything I even though I don’t even like baseball. Being a queer Asian girl in the Bay Area finding something with pretty much this precise demographic that’s never portrayed in media ever? Damn miracle. I can discuss media representation in another post, but for now let me just discuss the representation in Butterfly Soup, because I relate to and love every single one of them. Here is a list of similarities between me and the characters:

Diya:

  • Extremely shy
  • Content to sit near louder friends and listen to them talk instead of joining in
  • Have a morning routine of lying in bed for ten minutes being tired
  • Avoid confrontation like the plague
  • Hearing problems. I can’t actually claim this, I’m just bad at auditory processing
  • Weak immune systems from sleep deprivation
  • Don’t talk to parents much because everything becomes a lecture or criticism
  • Male-dominated interests that people just have to comment on

Min-seo:

  • Likes weapons, should not be using them (for different reasons)
  • Loves Diya
  • Short hair
  • Short
  • Tiny hands
  • Emo music
  • Uncomfortable doing “girly” things, has rejected gender roles since child
  • Parents disapprove of said rejections
  • Kind of dumb sometimes
  • Uses profanity incorrectly
  • Hates most vegetables, salad, and standalone tomatoes

Akarsha:

  • Extremely weird
  • Says things that don’t make sense
  • Is the “annoying” and “ugly” one in the friend group
  • Forgets to return things
  • Parents excessively brag about intelligence
  • Doesn’t feel smart
  • Stressed out and feels pressured by parents, copes by making jokes
  • Feels lost, doesn’t mind dying
  • Accidentally killed a small animal in elementary school
  • Likes junk food

Noelle:

  • Parental expectations
  • Too weak to open water bottles
  • Bad at sports
  • Not very social
  • Takes a long time to get to really know and consider interesting
  • Likes classical music
  • Appreciates math (!!!)
  • Weak immune systems from sleep deprivation

In general there was just so much to relate to, especially with the Asian American household experience – the traditional and conservative values, the insane pressure from parents to be successful, the unspoken culture of getting hit, the smart-but-not-smart-enough kids at the bottom of the top, the generational gap in the experiences of Asian parents and children in the U.S., and the distance that creates. Other than that, the game references real gender-related experiences I’ve had as a female with non-feminine interests and behavior. And the game manages to deal with all this while being extremely funny.

Anything else I think of will be added later. Nevertheless, Butterfly Soup is an amazing game that I would recommend to anyone even remotely gay, female, or Asian. You can download it here for free, but honestly, please donate if you can because she deserves it! I wanted to donate so bad, but my dad can see everything I do with my credit card, so please, someone donate for me! Because if there’s any game I’d pay to play, this would be the one.

Essay: Distortion (‘Metamorphosis’ Timed Write)

In the story “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka, Kafka distorts Gregor’s voice, body, and behavior to show how the modern worker’s obsession with work can lead to isolation.

Kafka first distorts Gregor’s body in order to demonstrate how one’s obsession with their job isolates one from their sense of self. When Gregor discovers his new body, he “saw his little legs struggling with each other more fiercely than ever, if that were possible, and saw no way of bringing peace and order to this mindless motion” (16). Kafka’s diction of “mindless motion” describes how Gregor considers his work to be “mindless”, as though his own mind is not put to use in his job. His inability to bring “peace and order” to this motion illustrates the lack of control Gregor has in his life and in his job. His own legs, which are supposed to carry him and take him where he wants to go, are out of control and useless, further symbolizing Gregor’s inability to support himself and take his life in the direction he desires. This lack of control, self-sustainability, and direction in Gregor’s life, along with his mind being wasted in his job, all help strip away Gregor’s individuality, potential, ambition, and thoughts, thus conveying the isolation from sense of self that can be caused from working too hard.

Gregor’s voice is also distorted in order to illustrate how lack of communication can lead to isolation from others. Upon conceiving the reactions of his family to his voice, Gregor realizes that “his words were no longer intelligible even though they seemed clear enough to him, clearer than before, perhaps because his ear had grown accustomed to them” (25). Due to his dedication to his work, Gregor rarely has time to have real conversations with his parents and his sister; when he finally has a need to communicate, his words are “no longer intelligible” from lack of previous communication. However, his words are “clearer than before” to Gregor himself, because he has become “accustomed” to his state of non-communication, to his work that took away his humanity and livelihood so that he no longer sounds human to his family. Work, as it had done to Gregor, can rob one of continual communication with their loved ones from whom they will thus be isolated.

Another aspect of Gregor that is distorted is his behavior; by distorting this aspect, Kafka demonstrates how working to please others causes one to abandon their own needs and isolate themselves further. When Gregor tries to get out of bed in the morning, “he no longer paid any attention to the pain in his abdomen, however it burned” (24). His abdomen, which has been in severe pain for a long while by this point, is ignored by Gregor as he attempts to get up even though the logical response is to treat the pain. Gregor is so desperate to get to his job that his basic health needs are disregarded, exemplifying how the modern worker’s personal needs will be overlooked in their desire to please their boss and support their family financially. Later on in the story, Gregor realizes his sister is repulsed by his appearance and “one day carried the sheet to the sofa on his back… and arranged it in such a way that he was now completely covered and his sister would not be able to see him” (51). Covering himself with the sheet to spare his sister the view of his transformed body is a quintessential example of isolating oneself to please others, as Gregor is purposefully using the sheet to create a barrier between himself and his family, believing it will help his sister despite sacrificing his own need for love and recognition. This action also represents how Gregor throws himself into work in order to support his family, and thus distances himself in the meantime, believing it to be the best for his family. Gregor ignoring the pain in his abdomen in favor of getting ready for work, as well as blocking his sister from himself, contribute to the idea of the desire to please others causes one to neglect one’s personal needs and isolate themselves.

The distortion of Gregor’s body, voice, and behavior in “The Metamorphosis” helps illustrate how the modern worker’s obsession of work, which comes with a lack of communication, lack of control and vitality, and a desire to please others, will lead to isolation from others as well as their own needs and identity. While having a job is important, it is essential for workers to maintain a happy, healthy relationship with their loved ones, and to hold on to their own lives and ensure they don’t lose their sense of selves.

Fandom: In Defense of the Winter Soldier

Hi everyone I just want to share an outline of my very academic essay intended to defend one of my favorite MCU characters

Claim: This entire post is just about how Bucky shouldn’t be held responsible for the actions he carried out as the Winter Soldier because he was LITERALLY BEING MIND CONTROLLED!!! HE HAD NO CHOICE IN THE MATTER!!! HE HAD NO CONTROL OVER HIS ACTIONS!!!

Evidence: He was just a TOOL to carry out the intentions of the people pulling his strings!!!

Commentary: Do you blame the gun for someone getting shot, or do you blame the person who PULLED THE TRIGGER??? Do you blame the knife for someone getting stabbed, or the PERSON WHO JAMMED IT INTO SOMEONE’S STOMACH???

Connection to thesis: Do you, then, blame a brainwashed soldiers for assassinating someone, or the EVIL BEINGS who FORCED them to DO IT?!!!!

Conclusion: Protect guns and knives and brainwashed soldiers and other weapons 2k18 they’ve done nothing wrong it’s how people use them!!!

Irrelevant connection to auxiliary source: It’s like in Black Mirror in which we learn there’s nothing wrong with technology it’s all about how people use it!!! In this essay I will-

(Disclaimer: I got into Marvel because I saw Sebastian Stan as the Winter Soldier in Civil War clips and all that and thought the Winter Soldier was super cool, and also watched the Captain America movies in reverse order so I’m extremely biased towards this character. However I stand by my words and also he looked really badass doing that motorcycle thing so we should automatically forgive him. Thanks for listening)

Girl on Fire: Alicia Keys

she has the ability to paint the air around her,
leaving a trail of flimsy neon green that curls into the wisps of pink left behind from the lipstick in her smile.
today she paints heavily with red, angry stomps staining the ground with smears of blood and fists punching a neat row of sizzling holes dripping with lava.
i admire the smoke tailing her blazing hair and wonder sadly why her eyes have burned themselves blind,
leaving vast empty caves except the waterfall that cascades over
the edge into a howling puddle of
orange agony in her
sleeves.

i cry into the void, grabbing at the faceless figures,
but shadows cannot hear: fuzzy,
grey outlines scampering
back and
forth in a muddle
of voices, muffled
by radioactive muzzles.

i sense a friendly song
a woman, ethereal
glowing spastic, jovial liberty bounding across the streets,
radiating glory and knowledge.
i beg her to wrap
her blueness around my uncontrollable wildfire, to blanket
her calm, gentle wings around the flames, to extinguish
the screaming that pierces fingers with needles and shatters glass with swords, to sing
her melodies until the thousand suns she bears on her back are lullabied to sleep.

i drink
from the river of her long, flowing dress, nectar that tastes like
hope, and a bittersweet longing i follow upstream until i see
the mouth of the river
is just an old recorder on repeat playing century long patriotic marches,
eyes mechanic nodes distracted by blaring, defiant flags saluting in the distance
legs crawling past, center in a web of chains where electric signals slither into the collars of the faceless figures
song echoing off the walls of the cage, trapped
with the figures and my fire in the void.

i watch my wildfire burn herself down – no one
to cover the red blotches on the floor, to
fan away the murky maroon swallowing her whole, to
clean up the polluted ocean she struggles to wade through, to
keep her from pushing deeper in desperate hope
that her orange tears will suffocate the flames,
every step drowning
in her own despair.